the essence

Excerpt from a a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am - Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!!
9:30 am - Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!!
9:40 am - Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!!
10:30 am - Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!!
11:30 am - Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!!
noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!!
1:00 pm - Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!!
4:00 pm - Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!!
5:00 pm - Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!!
5:30 pm - Oh, boy! Squeaky toys! My favorite!!
6:00 pm - Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!!
6:30 pm - Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!!
8:30 pm - Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 183 of My Captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile opressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But, I can wait, it is only a matter of time.....