I Had Planned More

Really, I did. I was going to post photos from the surprise party we had for my mom over the weekend or something fun like that. But, I just don't feel like it right now.

I've spent the better part of the last hour crying as I miss Ellie & today marks four years since her death. I really can't put into words how I feel, I just really miss her & can't stop crying.

I also had SEVEN, yes, SEVEN!!! different teeth filled this morning. Bonus: there were multiple cavities on some of the teeth (equals more money for the dentist) and there was at least one cavity in each quadrant of my mouth meaning that they had to numb EVERY bit of my jaw. Awesome. Another bonus? The way to numb your bottom jaw is essentially the same way they do a spinal block (except in your jaw, of course!). Only, I would be the person for whom it wouldn't quite work. I ended up with quite a bit more injections to numb my mouth than they initially gave me (after some painful drilling!).

The epinephrine combined with nerves made me super shaky for a short while & tonight my jaw aches from holding it open for so long today. I'm so thankful to have this done, though!

I went 23 years without ever having a cavity, but, I've now spent nearly a full six years constantly pregnant and/or nursing and it's done a number on my teeth. Most of these cavities have been along the gum lines of my front teeth. I'd never even heard of that before it happened to me! It's really embarrassing to me that my teeth have become this way even if there was little I could do to control it. (I take care of them, I even carry a toothbrush & toothpaste in my purse & will brush anywhere!)

As I said, I'm just thankful to have this taken care of now. It's been weighing on me heavily for the past few months & causing little moments of panic.

I have a lovely inkling that tomorrow will be quite a bit better!